And? You could say the same thing about white people, they’re not an oppressed minority therefore racism towards them is fine or in some way less wrong?
Cis people aren’t an oppressed minority, and no one is practicing intolerance of cis people. MEANWHILE, trans people ARE an oppressed minority, and systemic intolerance and prejudice against trans people can be seen in many, varied forms across the length and breadth of society. NO one is saying cis people are unworthy or unacceptable as sexual partners due to the fact that they ARE CIS. LOTS of people are saying trans people are unacceptable as sexual partners due to the fact that they ARE TRANS.
I personally would have no problem sleeping with a transwoman, I’ve even given my girlfriend permission to sleep trans women as well as cis women. I’m just sticking up for other people’s rights to sleep with or not sleep with who ever they want for whatever reason or even no reason at all.
Did you literally specify to your girlfriend that she was free to sleep with trans women as well as cis women? Why in particular would you specify trans women as a separate group from cis women? Can you not see how differentiating cis women from trans women as two separate categories carries with it an undercurrent of transphobia, seeing as both groups are WOMEN? You’re a woman whether you’re cis or trans. The only reason people MAKE a differentiation is because of prejudice against people who happen to be trans.
As TJ said perhaps somebody would chose not to have sex with a trans person because they would like to enter a relationship with the possibility of having biological children, I don’t think that this is exactly rare for men.
No one, however, would say “I am not at all attracted to barren women, that’s just my personal preference”. There are multiple reasons why a cis woman would not be able to have a child. And, if these women never informed their partners of their condition, their partners would never know that their attempts at having a child would be fruitless. But no one is grouping up these women and saying “I could never be attracted to these women, full stop”. But they ARE doing that to trans women. Why is that?
Perhaps they aren’t experts in the medical procedure and wouldn’t have sex with a trans person out of fear of offending them if their genitalia isn’t to their liking. They may be ignorant but this isn’t bigoted.
Prehaps they don’t want to cause conflict in their family by dating a trans person. A woman may refuse to date me because I’m an atheist due to family reasons, this may be cowardly that wouldn’t make her a bigot.
That IS a bigoted situation. You’re basing your partner not on your own personal attraction, but the prejudices of others. How is that not a situation that exists out of bigotry? “I would rather appease bigots than be true to my own desires” is evidence of the inherent intolerance in society. That situation can only exist because society deems trans people as abhorrent, and a person who accepts that status quo is implicit in it. A lot of people would look at that situation and rid themselves of their bigoted family, not the person they love.
“You find me a _single_ example of someone who solely dates trans people without fetishizing trans people and I’ll give you my take on them.”
So if I found such people you would judge them on a case by case basis but not the other way around? What is your definition of fetishizing and why is it intrinsically wrong?
I do judge people on a case-by-case basis. The difference is, I judge EVERYONE on a case-by-case basis. The whole point of bigotry is that people are prepared to write off, or denigrate, an entire group of people based on one aspect of their identity. And fetishising trans people is objectifying trans people. It’s seeing them as ‘trans’ instead of ‘people’.
Seriously, do you not get that? If a trans woman never told you she was trans, you could very well be attracted to her, and you might never realize she was trans. The KNOWLEDGE of someone being trans is enough to destroy your attraction to them. If you WEREN’T transphobic, such a revelation wouldn’t even matter to you. It’s not a personal preference when you would be perfectly happy to involve yourself in a relationship with a woman, unless you ever found out she was trans. That’s like being perfectly happy with a relationship with a woman until you find out she suffers from epilepsy, or has survived ovarian cancer, or is colorblind. The fact that you are attracted to them right up to the point where they reveal their affliction to you PROVES that it’s not personal preference calling the shots here. It’s intolerance, plain and simple.